so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
