I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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