Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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