it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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