Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
