My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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