apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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