Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
