yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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