"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
