He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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