I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
