How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
