): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
