found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
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