My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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