I just made out with a guy for $7.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize