my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
