I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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