I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
