Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
