you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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