Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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