yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
