Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
