DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
