Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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