is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
