That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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