Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
