i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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