Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Watching her eat just hurts me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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