They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
