Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
