Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
