I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
