Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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