i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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