escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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