Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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