wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize