his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
