Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
