This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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