heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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