we're blogging at a bar
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
