What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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