i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
