Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize