you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
