How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize