So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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