if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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