Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
