My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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