Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
