You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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