I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
