Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
