How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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