what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
