I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
