By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
